Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Erasing The Memories Of Your First...... Love (Love & Relationships)



Erasing The Memories Of Your First Love

by Shan

Tossing and turning, sleepless nights; hopping in and out of relationships because none of them feel quite like "You". Could there possibly be a way to overcome the memories of a first love?



First love could happen at any age, or so they say!  First romance, first love, is something so special to all of us, both emotionally and physically, that it touches our lives and enriches them forever. Forever is one of those words many of us take for granted and use in vain. "4 Eva, 4 Life, 4 Sho" Who remembers scribbling those little sayings every time we would write down our names accompanied by the man or woman we desired? Back in those days, the thoughts of our "First Love" was so delicious that there was no need for seconds. It has been stated that first love during our teenage years is much more fierce than the love in our adulthood.  A survey result reveals that first love relationships last only for 3 or 4 months for persons at the age of 15. Though, during my high school years I've witnessed those who have experienced love for years at a time. And according to Psychologists, there are indeed 3 phases of love: Lust, Attraction, and Attachment. Think about it for a second, We've all been there lusting after another individual desiring to be desired. Physically being attracted to them as if they were the only human being on the planet and Attraction is simply to be so tied together nothing could ever tear the two of you apart. Normally, it is the first relationship or attraction of a romantic nature experienced in adolescence that mentally, physically, and emotionally joins us together. Memories of our first love are mostly happy ones but in certain cases, the memories could be highly painful also. After numerous hours of research, I found that those who had experienced feelings of happiness, enthusiasm, excitement, and pride in their first love are much more likely to have stable, enduring relationships in their later lives. But unfortunately, on the other hand, those who went through feelings of shame, guilt, hostility or fright during their first love tend to have weak relationships with others. For sure there will be "plenty of other fish in the sea" but the real question is how do we fade away the memories of our first love when those thoughts have found a way to occupy space inside of our hearts. Subconsciously, we allow the unwanted memories of first love to haunt us in more ways than one. Ever tried focusing on another relationship and found yourself handling the new person in your life differently because they were nothing like your first love? If you can honestly relate know that unconsciously you are penalizing yourself and every single relationship you will encounter with another. On the brighter side, scientific studies have shown that it might take only 30 seconds to decide whether the other person is really worth falling in love with. Believe it or not, some Psychologists say Men are actually the ones to fall in love first before women. But being a woman myself I can testify by saying that the first love tends to have a much greater effect on our lives, whether we choose to admit it or not. So, if you are unsure of how to handle your next relationship, I'm here to tell you that you must first get over what has occurred in the past. Realize that just because this relationship is over, it doesn't mean that you'll never find love again. Don't be ashamed to ask your friends, your parents, how they got over their first loves. Many people will remember how hard it was to get over them but will also admit that they found greater loves in their lifetime.  The emotional experiences that go with first love are very strong. But we have to be stronger and learn ways to understand them, sort them out and control them! So how we erase the memories of our first love? Become the eraser.

Be Inspired,

Shan & TheFIGURE


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